Arachnid

Arachnid

Artwork by Tara Cumella

I bet you’re wondering how I got here. Well it all started when I pissed off a wizard. Don’t do that kids; that’s how you wind up cursed as a spider and locked into your own pocket universe at the bottom of the ocean.

Yeah, it wasn’t my best idea. I was human once. A man, a handsome one. Beauty and vanity go hand in hand, and few hundred years ago my ego got a little out of control. I made a few bad decisions and slept with the wrong man’s wife. Wizards aren’t exactly known for being forgiving individuals, or lenient, but I really thought I could get away with it. And I did, up until she gave birth and the kid came out looking a hell of a lot like me and nothing like him.

God, I hope the kid’s okay. Well, grandkid by now.

Anyway, so the wizard found out his wife had been fooling around, with me no less. I don’t what he did to her, or if he did anything to her at all, but he turned me into a spider and shoved me into the ocean and I just… Sank. Yeah, okay, that isn’t entirely true, I fought like hell, but this body was new to me and I hadn’t actually believed in magic so I was caught completely off guard.

I eventually hit the ocean floor. I don’t know why he didn’t just crush me and let me die, but this is where I am. Where I’ve been for hundreds of years. Wherever I go this pocket of dry land follows. I can’t break it, though I’ve tried. There aren’t any other living things in my bubble, just me. I can’t communicate with the fish at all, and they don’t seem to like me very much. The best reaction I get is for them to ignore me completely.

I’m very bored. There’s nothing to do. Literally, it’s just me, walking in the same bubble, for hundreds of years. I can’t leave, I can’t escape, I can’t even die. When I was a kid, I would often use hyperbole. “Oh mom!” I’d say, “I’m dying of boredom!” Yeah, well, now spider me knows how ridiculous that was. I would give anything to die of boredom now.

I remember hearing once that wizards live a very long time, like multiple lifetimes. I’ve also heard that a wizard’s magic only lasts as long as he’s alive and now I’m scared.

You see, dying of boredom is one thing. I’d like that, that would be okay with me. I’d even be grateful if one day the wizard would just kick it and let my bubble pop. I’d be crushed by the weight of the ocean, sure, but at least then it would be an instant death. Really anything as long as this torture ends would be fine by me.

No, the problem is that my little bubble kept getting just a little smaller every day. I didn’t mind at first because I figured that was because the wizard was dying. He starts to go, and his spells start to end, you know, that kind of thing. So my bubble got smaller and smaller and smaller until my legs were frozen in place. It was terrifying, but I welcomed it.

But then something weird happened. I fell asleep and overnight my bubble grew! Overnight it had grown up to twice it’s original size. I don’t know how, but I get the sense that somehow the bastard just cheat death. It’s like he just doubled his already insanely long life span, and his magic down here doubled with it.

I bet he doesn’t even remember that I’m down here.

I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t know how much longer I can keep it together. Really, I really don’t want to spend another couple of centuries down here and – oh God. If he did it once he could probably do it again.

Am I going to be stuck here? For eternity? Please, somebody help me.

With nothing else to do I continue meandering the ocean floor, hoping some day some creature will burst this bubble, or that the wizard that trapped me here dies.